ANNIE

"I long to have him beside me", Annie said with tears clouded in her eyes yet pretending to be not affected as she faked a smile. She tries to crack a joke out from what she said but it wasn't effective at all. Her eyes were too weak and vulnerable.

I knew Annie for quite long already since we were on a same class back in high school years and until now as a freshmen student of one of the universities here in the city. We both live in province.

I say we are not as best of friends. We are friends but only civil. Only hi's and hello's. Being together in a group laughing and having fun eating our lunch before in our canteen was the only situation I remember that makes me consider her as a friend. I am not being mean, I'm just being frank.

She is intelligent, she even ranked 2nd among the class. She is pretty, thin with an average height, an inch taller than I am. She never stops talking, laughing or even bullying around some of our classmates. She always recites in every oral recitation though she is not sure of her answer she still raises her hands. And that what makes her popular to most of our professors.

Not everybody likes her. Some rumors I heard that she is a backstabber. Some would say a traitor. She tells secret of other folks without asking consent. And I would want to affirm it that's why I wasn't able to form a friendship with her.

People were too mean behind her but a laughing mate in front of her because she does the same thing.

It took me over a couple of years to be mature enough giving a break criticizing, judging her attitude and all her ways. And not to converse with people who tries to push her down. I realize that I too have fragility and even fail to carry out the things I want not do and have found myself doing the very things I hate. Hence, I am no different from her.

It was 11:30am the usual time I eat my lunch.

I was approaching to the cafeteria, I saw many people lining hastily but I still persevere to line up until it is my turn to be entertained. I roam around and saw no familiar faces even a vacant seat. I walked going to a smaller space and found Annie on a corner talking to another classmate.

I settled myself in a moment beside them and start to eat my lunch neglecting what they were talking about. I tried to be passive as possible but I can't help to lean my ears because for the very first time I saw Annie crying.

When I was done eating, I gave my attention to Annie. Suddenly, I felt a little bit concern.

I heard her saying, "I'm really tired knowing that my dad will never be back. Living his own "kerida" might make him feel better than staying with his own family..." while I was listening I almost cried but I tried to be stiffed so that she won't feel weak.

As she slowly uttered every single word of pain from not having her father for many years, I remembered every thing about her from calling attentions through bullying or laughing too hard, backstabbing, telling others secrets and criticizing others it shows her thirst and hunger for a deep conversation and love from a father.

"I long to have him beside me".

I have been stab from that line.